I Wont Let You Go
by PoppyHaines
Summary: Castiel is banished from Heaven for loving human, but before he i banished the other Angels torture him and rip his songs out. They drop him at Dean and Sam's motel where he left. Dean stitches him up. They both love each other but won't admit to it, fast love story. Dean teaches Castiel how to fight as a human and they all hunt together trying to close the gates of hell. Slash.
1. Chapter 1

Dean Winchester was lying on a cheap motel bed, in some run down town in Nevada. The bed was stained with things Dean didn't want to think about, but the sad thing was he was use to sleeping in places like this living in them for weeks on end. This was how Dean had spent most of his life. Until him and Sam had found the safe house created by the men of letters now Dean and Sam have there own rooms, a place they could go to rest when there is no case for them, or when looking for a new one, he didn't want to admit it but Dean was loving having a 'home' where he can feel safe and can cook, and sleep on sheets that have been soiled but so many other people. At last he had his own space.

He listened to the shower running, while Sam washed the blood and dirt from his skin and hair from their last hunt. Usually Dean would have rushed out of the car into the small motel bathroom to clean himself off, but he was too tired he needed to rest, and all he wanted was the large shower at their safe house and then to crawl into his own bed, he couldn't wait to leave the next morning after some hard earned rest. He let his eyes slip close - telling himself he'd just have a couple of minutes - but before he could fall into a deep slumber he heard a loud flutter of wings and then a cry of agony as someone impacted with the floor.

Dean shot up from his place on the bed to see Castiel - his angel - crumbled naked on the floor, panting out each painful breath, he had a gaping wound starting at his shoulder blades and ending at the bottom his back. It was shaped like a V.

"Cas..are you okay?" Dean asked his voice shaking, he hated seeing Castiel in so much pain. The only response he got was a low whine from the back of Castiel's throat, 'what a stupid question to ask' he thought to himself, 'of course he isn't okay'.

Dean climbed of the bed, rushing to the angels side, up close he could see the ragged edges to the wound as though something had been torn from his back. Castiel continued to whimper quietly to himself, hoping Dean knew a way to fix him, to make the pain go away. The angels had tortured him because the found out he was in love with a human...with Dean. To begin with they just poured burning holy water over him which hurt but nothing was as bad as when the ripped his wings from his back it took them hours, doing in feather by feather until they got to muscle which merged into his vessel, then they pulled till they were ripped though the skin leaving huge gaps in his back. Then they dropped him on the floor of Deans motel whispering to him "You are Human now...we hope you enjoy your life Castiel."

He looked up to see Dean looking down at him worry etched on his face, he tried to say don't worry but it came out as whimper, he was in so much pain.

"Cas this Is going to hurt but I need to get you on the bed," Dean whispered before getting his arms under Castiel's body and lifting him up from the floor, Castiel let out a blood curling scream as Dean lifted him causing his back to move and the open flesh to brush against his arms.

Sam winchester was drying of the rest of his body when he heard a scream from the other room in the small motel room they were staying in, he ran out of the bathroom dropping his towel and grabbing his gun he'd placed beside the sink, and pointed it toward his brother who was now placing a naked, hurt Castiel, when Dean removed his arms and pulled against the skin of his back, he let out another scream, which caused both of the brother to cringe.

Dean turned to see his naked brother standing in the bathroom doorway, pointing a gun at him.

"Castiel is hurt, can you get dressed quick, while I grab the med kit, I need some alcohol as well, he needs stitching up."

"I don't seen any injury." Sam replied dropping his arms to his side and walking back into the bathroom confused. "And I have some wine in my bag, is that okay?"

"Yer, fine and it's on his back, you'll see in a minute." As Sam dressed as quick as he could into some clean jeans and a navy blue v-neck t-shirt, Dean got everything he needed and rolled Cas over on to his front, he heard a relieved sigh escape his mouth when the pressure was removed from his injury.

"Castiel I am sorry but this is going to hurt." Castiel hummed in response but made no other noise, he knew this was going to hurt but he was human now, and he couldn't heal himself, and he also knew Dean would only cause him pain if he had to.

"Shit." was the only response Sam made as he came back out of the bathroom to see Cas's spread out on the bed with such horrible injuries.

"Stop staring Sam," Dean growled, he didn't like Sam seeing Castiel naked, he knew it was irrational but he it just bothered him, he knew he was only staring because it was hell of an injury, but Dean loved this angel and he didn't want anyone else to see him naked.

Dean knew he loved Cas but never told anyone because he thought everyone else would laugh and that Castiel didn't feel the same way so he denied and buried it away.

Sam also knew how Dean felt, not because he'd told him but because he knew his brother and the look on his face whenever Cas would arrive or call or anything to be honest Dean would get this smile on his face and his eyes would light up in a way he'd never seen before. Sam also knew something his brother didn't, the socially awkward angel felt the same way and feared the same things that Dean wouldn't love him back.

"I need you to hold him down if he begins to move to much, okay?" Dean said to his little brother.

"I can do that." he replied standing on the other side of the bed, opposite his brother. He wasn't needed in the end Castiel stayed perfectly still but screamed and cried until about half way though the stitches when he just passed out due to the pain. As Dean slowly poured to wine over the wound Castiel woke from his sleep screaming for a couple of second before passing out again, he felt so guilty for all the pain he was causing him but he needed to make sure the wound was clean so it could heal.

"Dean he needs a shower." Sam stated.

"I'll wake him up in a minute and get him to have one." Dean had been trying not to look at Cas's arse while taking care of him, he felt like he was taking advantage of his vulnerable state, but his eyes kept slipping to his round, perky cheeks that he just wanted to gently run his fingers across and cover in soft scattered kisses.

"He is going to need helping standing Dean...you'll have to get in with him." Sam laughed on the inside at the look on Dean's face.

"I am not getting in the shower with Cas, especially with him being naked!" Dean exclaimed.

"Well i'll have to do it th.." Sam began to say he'd do it but Dean interrupted him.

"No! I've got it." he growled. Sam laughed, walking towards the front door. "Where you going?"

"To get him some pain medication, he's gonna be in a lot of pain."

"I know," Dean sighed, "When I find out who does this to him I am going kill them." Sam glanced back at his brother with a reassuring smile before leaving the motel and getting in to Impala. It was going to drive around for an hour, to let Dean and Castiel have some time to get cleaned up and hopefully talk.


	2. Chapter 2

As soon as Sam had left Dean made his way into the small motel bathroom, and turned on the shower, knowing it would take a minute to heat up, then he went to wake Cas. He gently shook his body not wanting to hurt him, or startle him. Cas slowly stirred from his pain induced sleep whimpering slightly but not in as much pain as earlier. He turned his head to the side to see Dean looking at him.

"Hey Sleepy, we need to get you in shower...Sam has gone to get you pain medication but until he gets back have something to drink, it dulls they pain." He said passing what was left of the wine to him. Castiel slowly and careful moved himself into a sitting position letting out little whines, and cries. Dean looked at him with pity has he drunk was left in the bottle.

"Thank you Dean." Castiel tried to smile at him but it came out as more of a grimace. "I don't...think I...can do any...more moving by myself." Castiel panted the pain still there and getting worse as he woke fully.

"I'll carry you to the bathroom, if you like?" Dean offered, hoping Cas would accept, he loved the feeling of carrying him.

"Yes, Please" Cas replied, happy he'd offered because even in his pain haze earlier he loved the feeling of being carried in Deans arms. Dean wriggled his arms under Cas's body lifting up, flooding with guilt as he cried out when the stitches pulled against's Deans arm.

"I am so sorry Cas, I don't mean to be hurting you." All he got in response was a forced smile, which again looked more like a grimace. Once he'd maneuvered them into the bathroom with out hitting Castiel's head on the door frame he placed him on the toilet in a sitting position. "I am going to have to join you in the shower to keep you supported, so I just need to undress." Dean mumbled awkwardly before turning away from _his angel _and stripping out of all his clothes. Once he was naked he lifted Cas into his arms again and climbed into the shower, he gently placed Castiel onto his feet, before he even had a chance to wrap his arms around him he'd began to wobble, Dean grabbed him in time, wrapping his arms securely around his waist.

"Step forward into the water, I've got you don't worry." Castiel took a hesitant step forward under the water, it was warm and fell against his skin softly, making his whole body feel warm. Dean reached behind himself, keeping hold of Cas to grab some shampoo. "I am going to wash your hair okay?" Cas just nodded in reply, Dean squirt a generous amount of shampoo on his free hand before lathering it into Cas's hair, it massaged the shampoo in gently making sure to keep Castiel's head out of the water as he done so, he heard little moans coming from the man in front of him but tried to ignore them, as he felt him self becoming aroused.

He pushed Castiel's head back under the water, telling him to close his eyes as he washed the shampoo from his hair, once he'd washed it all out and his arousal had gone soft he told Cas to slowly turn around so his back was under the warm spray of the shower, telling him it would hurt but it needed to be done. As Castiel turned to face Dean he took in the hunter beautiful body, covered with scars but beautiful and his hand print still burned on his shoulder, it was his claim on the hunters body. When his back was first hit with the water he screamed it was so sensitive he tried to turn around but Dean held him in place.

"No, you need to clean it. Look lets talk about something like why are you here? and what happened to you?" Dean didn't know how hard it would be for Cas to talk but he thought he needed a distraction.

"Angels... found out I...loved a human..tortured me...ripped my wings out...fallen...left me here." Castiel panted out every word in agony, Dean let out a little gasp out the news.

"Why did they torture you and why...hang on you love a human..who?!" Dean exclaimed when what Cas had said to him registered in his brain, his heart filed with hope, maybe it was him but probably not. Who could love the broken hunter? The man who said yes to Allistar and tortured thousands of human souls, to save his own? Who could love a man like him?

"You, Dean." and with those words he collapsed against Deans body, he didn't catch Castiel in time he was in shock and they both feel, Deans head smashing into the tiled shower wall. He lay there for a moment holding _his _angel against his chest still shocked with what Cas said, his head was pounding, but he couldn't feel it, all he could feel was the peculiar feeling his stomach - like a thousand butterflies fluttering around.

Dean didn't understand why this was happening to him, after all the terrible things he'd done in his life, what made him deserve the love of such an amazing man and also an ex-angel of the Lord. Castiel began to stir in his arms, but Dean just ignored his movement, and stayed in the exact same position, till Cas let out a little yelp of pain because of the tight grip the scared and emotionally recked had around his waist. He loosened his grip but refused to let go.

"Thank...k...k You." Castiel chocked out, his back still burning, but he knew all his pain was worth getting to live the rest of his life with Dean, the man he'd only ever wanted, the man who always taught him how to be more human, the one who has forgiven him for every mistake he'd ever made, even things heaven would never forgive him for, no matter how many time he begged for forgiveness or prayed for redemption.

Dean slowly lifted himself and Castiel from the floor being as careful as possible and softly dried of Castiel's body but left his back to dry naturally, he still hadn't said a word to Cas, he was afraid to talk and didn't even know what to say. He left the angel sitting on the toilet seat. Dean rummaged through his bag looking for clothing for Cas, he was still shocked but now he knew what he had to say. He entered the bathroom silently, handing the clothes to the heartbroken Castiel, through all his pain all he could think is Dean hadn't replied, obviously the hunter didn't return his feelings.

Dean helped him into some black boxer briefs and a pair of dark jeans which were just a little lose on Castiel's slim toned body. Once he stood before Dean dressed accept a shirt, Dean let forward his lips brushed gently against his ear lobe he whispered. Three Words.

"I Love You. My Angel. I Wont Let You Go. Not Now." Castiel gasped before relaxing against the hunters chest.

"I Love You. My Hunter. I Wont Let You Go. Not Ever." The two smiled at each, thinking of all the times they'd imagined this moment and neither of them thinking it would be this amazing. This special and in Castiel's mind this painful. Dean brushed his hand against Cas's before intwining their fingers, he gently guided them both into the other room. Sitting Cas on the end of the bed so nothing was pushing against his back and he moved a wooden chair so it was facing him and sat down.

"Sooo," Dean drawled out not sure what to say, "I am not good at this chick flick moments." He laughed lightly at Cas's dumbfounded expression.

"Chick flick?" Castiel asked.

"Really emotional things, it just kinda creeps me out, makes me feel like i'm gunna start growing a vagina, thats Sam's sorta expertise." Castiel looked confused again.

"Sam grew a vagina?" This made Dean bark out a loud rough laugh.

"No, its just a saying. Now back to the point. You got anything to..er say about this...er situation." Dean kept coughing awkwardly.

"Umm, I guess basically, Heaven found out I loved about a week after I realized, so they kept acting as though they were sending me to you so I could spend time with you, and whenever I came back they'd always ask questions, I thought they were just caring about you and Sam, but then one of the Angels told me they were using my feeling against me to get information about you and your brothers hunts, and whereabouts. So I stopped doing as they said and they explained how loving a human was a sin - which I already knew - and they said the only reason I was still Angel was because I was feeding them information, but I still refused to help, so they tortured me...you know the rest."

Dean stared at the beautiful man before him and filled with pride, he abandoned everything he knew and believed in for love, for the right thing. This man was still an Angel in his eyes, the best Angel there was, one who done what he wished as long as it was good and pure.

"Oh." Dean coughed, "You went through all this for me, thank you. So you haven't felt this way for long then?"

"About a year," Castiel said looking down at his feet, his cheeks turning a light shade of pink.

"Oh babe," Dean said moving over to the bed, the pet name slipping out. " Don't be embarrassed, it's been about the same for me, I just wish one of us had said something."

Castiel only smiled in response. Not knowing what to think of the pet name or what to say in return. The loud bang at the door tore them from their thoughts.

"Please don't be having sex!" Sam shouted before entering the small motel room, "I got the stuff." He gave Dean and Castiel his puppy dog look which made Dean laugh and his angel just looked confused. "Soo, you two seem very close," he exclaimed looking at the closeness of their bodies, winking jokingly at his older brother.

"Shut it Sammy!" Dean replied using his nick name just to piss him off. He stood up from his place on the bed and reached for the bag that the younger hunter held out for him. Dean rummaged through the bag pulling out some pain killers and passing two to Cas as well as a bottle of cool water.

"Well I got myself another room, number 243 so I don't have to share with you two lovebirds." Sam grinned to himself, walking out the door "Always thought you over-compensated with all the women Dean," he shouted shutting the door and running to his own room not wanting to be attacked by his brother.

Dean growled under his breath having the urge to run after his brother and kill him...over compensating my arse, Castiel as just different. He didn't think other guys were hot.


End file.
